Fear, stress, and anxiety are paralyzing emotions. They can drain your confidence and self-esteem. To escape a possible emotional trauma, most of us relent to a safe space of self-defeating surrender. That’s where we start to doubt our potential, accept sub-standard choices, and adjust to a lower quality of life, gradually drowning ourselves in the darkness of self-sabotage!
You may be in this darkness, but that’s not what matters. What matters is your earnest longing to come out of it. Otherwise, you won’t be reading this! What we think frames our life and our destiny. If you are reading this, you are on your way to a great internal transformation. Now is the time to take charge of your life.
Rule the Mind!
The mind is the most powerful instrument in the entire universe. It is the quill of destiny. Once you change the way you think, you can change everything else. Let’s see how to tame our minds and write our story of a dream life.
Accept Yourself
It may be horrifying or numbing to even look at your current situation. It may look impossible to change. A pigeon closes its eyes when faced with danger, an ostrich dump its head in the sand. So you may safely close your eyes with a blindfold of self-doubt and escape reality. But ignorance of danger does not equal security.
The best way to safely is – look at the danger in the eye.
Ancient Vedic sages say –
Asato ma sat gamaya, tamaso ma jyotisgamaya
Let’s go from untruth to truth
Let’s us go from darkness to light
Unconditional acceptance of reality is the first step towards a sustainable positive attitude in all life situations. Once you accept the truth as it is, the third eye of wisdom opens up. And that’s where all real change begins!
Free Yourself!
Humans love the community. It helps us to grow and improve. I used to be dependent on other people to tell me that I am good enough. But this dependence is very risky! Others may never know enough to judge you. They may not value your hidden virtues or silent achievements. So, if you are dependent on others for emotional comfort, you are sabotaging your chances of happiness! You are the person who knows best about “you”.
This emotional freedom is permanent redemption from misery. When you are emotionally independent, you no longer do things to please others and that’s such a huge relief! You can see through the fog of peer pressure, social obligations, cultural malpractices, and stay untouched by their withering impact. This is the “character of a happy life”, a poem I love to quote –
Who hath his life from rumours freed;
Whose conscience is his strong retreat;
Whose state can neither flatterers feed,
Nor ruin make oppressors great;
—This man is freed from servile bands
Of hope to rise or fear to fall:
Lord of himself, though not of lands,
And having nothing, yet hath all.
Love Yourself
Everyone makes mistakes. It is easier to be confident with a litany of successes. But to love yourself in the face of failures is a formidable task. It may even look arrogant to others. But, that’s exactly when you really need to love yourself!
After a failure, talk to yourself like the way you would talk to a small disappointed child. Or imagine how you may think about this failure ten years from now. These small exercises can help you realize that failure is a comma in the story of life, not a full stop!
Embrace Gratitude
You may not have most of the things that you desire or need. But this false sense of scarcity prevents you from looking at what you have! It can be something most people lack. And you have it right now with you. Just close your eyes for a moment and list three things you have right now that you are grateful for. I bet you will feel hopeful, happy, and satisfied immediately.
Feel the Bliss!
There is a thing that you want badly, but at the same time, a tiny voice inside your mind keeps telling you that you might not be good enough or it may be too hard to get it. But if you can feel the pleasure of owning the thing that you love, this intense positive experience will shut up that tiny belittling noise.
So, close your eyes for a moment and imagine owning whatever you want. Live the bliss. It is crucial! This positivity is the driving force that pushes you to success. It is a spring of energy, a fountain of hope that will carry you past all failures. This bliss is like the rope that holds the mountain climbers. It will hold you against a relapse in despair. And you will reach your destination in no time!
Be the Change!
You don’t have to behave like a successful person after success. Success is not a destination, it is a journey lined by achievement and failures. Be the person you want to be, right now! Learn about the habits of successful people you admire. Declutter your life and your mind. Focus on things that really matter. Live a life full of essence every day!
Related Podcast: Self-Sabotage: Stop Standing in Your Own Way. The Mindful Makeover Podcast
Small and Steady!
If you feel inspired after reading everything mentioned above, great! But most inspired people forget that success is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration. So, you may make big plans in an inspiration frenzy. Here I would like to introduce you to kaizen, an infallible magic key to success!
Kaizen is a Japanese concept that says –
Always make small improvements every day instead of trying to achieve a huge target in the long run.
Many times, we fail to adhere to our plans for innumerable plausible reasons. Then, a huge target may look scary and unachievable. But small changes every day are always feasible. Besides, small successes are nutritious to your self-confidence.
So, break down a huge target into tiny smart goals. Achieve a small practical success every day and hug yourself for it. And you will soon find yourself at the gates of a grand fabulous success; without stress, worry or despair.
Make a “Done” List
I used to make a “To Do” list and check out the completed tasks. But many days were bad and I was not able to do anything at all. Besides this “To Do” list was never complete. There were always new things to do every day. The list started to look like a never-ending burden. I started to feel tired to even look at it.
So, I stopped making a “to do” list.
Normally, I would wipe out the completed tasks. Instead, I started a done list. I would pick up anything and complete it, without any load of more things “To Do” after that. And I would mark it “done”. At the end of the day, I had a few “done” things and I felt such an incredible sense of relief and accomplishment.
Today, I have a whole book of my achievements . And it is like a vitality tonic. I read the long list of “done” things and it helps me to believe that I can do anything with small steps every day. I want you to believe the same, you can do anything with small steps. Wipe your “To Do” list today or hide it in a place where it is not too visible. And start making a “done” list. I bet it will leave you with more satisfaction and hope for the next day!
Mindfulness
In the end, I would like to ask you – do you know what you really want? Most of the time we end up doing things that we don’t want or don’t need. An unaware life is a complete self-sabotage, even if it may look successful from the outside! A mindful life is a real success for any of us.
Writer: Kanika Verma from Ritucharya.com
Editors: Christina & Shannon
