Value Your Self!
There are lots of articles around self-love. And they will tell you to be kind to yourself, forgive yourself, etc etc. I have read a lot of them. Because I was a people pleaser once and I needed to hear from somewhere that I also deserve love and respect. So, I went online.
But, here is something that I would tell my daughter when she grows up. Take only what you deserve. Period!
We take up everything thrown at us, esp. by people who are close to us. They may be friends, family, spouse, children…If you happen to be a people pleaser, then it is practically a never-ending list. So, my self-love advice on this Valentine’s Day is –
• dump the boyfriend who orders your meals without asking your preferences
• get rid of the girlfriend who keeps telling you what to wear and where to go
• ignore the friends who are only concerned about how popular you are
• report the ads that tell you that only skinny girls or 6 pack boys are desirable
The best way to value yourself, to love yourself is – allow access ONLY to the desirable.
We indeed need to adjust and accept. But trust me, that’s equally true for others as well. So don’t be the only one to adapt. What is good for one is good for all! Your self-love will allow others an equal chance of self-development 🙂
And what to do with the rest?
Imagine seeing a garbage bin when you are passing by. I am sure you don’t stand and shout at it – hey, I don’t want you! You may not even notice the garbage bin. You may not even notice that you are ignoring a garbage bin! And, there is no need to tell you – please ignore the garbage bin when you see it.
So, probably we don’t need to think about how to handle undesirable people. Think about it! If the law of attraction works, probably you will never even find them!
I want all our little ladies and gentlemen to develop such a subtle sense of authority that they don’t even notice the garbage thrown at them by others, whether it is in the form of advice, praise, or rebuke.
After all the advising, I would humbly accept that it is easier said than done. I am not there yet, but I know that it is a place worth being at. So, let’s make a collective effort to get there, not as individuals but as a society. A society that allows free expression of self, without prejudice, shame, or fear!
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.
Rabindranath Tagore
Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels
